Where's the Hospitality?

I can't resist. I love to spar. I love to debate. I don't mean anything by it necessarily, it is just what I like to do. I can be like the proverbial dog with a bone.

I am pondering the comment challenging by assertion that the state of South Dakota doesn't put porta-pots on the highway for its workers. If you haven't read it, you should. Read my response.

This blog is about my journey in South Dakota. If you read carefully you'll see I am really working hard at coming to terms with this new life. It is my way of processing how I feel. It's not intended to be personal.

I moved here from the south. The south, particularly Tennessee is associated with hillbillies and rednecks. Gretchen Wilson made Red-Neck Woman a hit a few years ago. I suppose that didn't help the image of the south. But one thing about southerners is they are pretty willing to laugh at themselves and expose the ironies of their view of life.

Before I lived in the south, I lived in staid New England. It was supposed to be a place that was cold and proper. It was supposed to be a place of indifference. That wasn't true either. It was a warm inviting place that values each individual and the community. I've never seen such pride in your hometown as I saw in New England.

But of course, they have their weird ways and they can laugh at it. Like the southerners they don't mind poking fun at themselves and they laugh at the ironies of their view of life. Every place has its beauty and strengths, including South Dakota. Likewise everywhere has its weirdness.

Okay, by now you see where I'm going. I came to South Dakota with a bad attitude. Not because of the state but because of other things going on in my life. So admittedly, I made it harder on myself to live here.

Nevertheless, I've tried. I've tried to adjust. I actually have adjusted some. I used to hate it here. Now I've moved up to I can tolerate it as long as I can go to Sioux Falls frequently. As long as I can have a lunch with someone at least once a week who is friendly it's not so bad. Summer weather will come for a week or two I suppose - if not, at least it's not minus 30 and snow. You have to be thankful for small blessings in your life.

One thing I don't want to lose here is my sense of humor. I like looking at the ironies of life. I am an observer. I notice things about my environment. I grew up in New York City. I had to learn to observe everything around me. I could easily get lost. I could get hurt. Observation is as natural to me as breathing. So I observe odd things like no porta-pots. And yes, I think its weird. I think it's terrible too. I think it's terrible that the needs of individuals are neglected in order to save a penny or two.

Garrison Keillor has made a fortune pointing out the humor and ironies of life in the upper mid-west. I like Keillor. He's right. People here have weird ways just like every other part of the country. There is humor in Lutefisk, being Lutheran and Lake Wobegon.

Recently someone made an observation to me that I had not noticed. Have you looked closely at the sign that greets you when you enter the state of South Dakota?

Look carefully. Do you see the word welcome in this sign? Now here is a trivia question for you. What is the name of the only other state that doesn't have welcome on its sign?


Adding WELCOME and an attitude of welcome to the State of South Dakota would be another plank in my campaign if I ran for office in South Dakota -- porta-pots and hospitality might not get me elected here though.

Welcome

It seems that even the locals are getting tired of this snow. I heard on the television yesterday that this is a much worse than "normal" winter. I heard that last year and it wasn't as bad as this one so I am suspicious of this statement. Today at the local McDonald's I overheard local folk lamenting the snow and wishing it would not return.

It is a beautiful day here today, that is by South Dakota winter standards. The sun is shining very brightly. It is 7 degrees. I am acclimating I suppose because it doesn't feel that cold to me today. Our former home, Cromwell Connecticut is getting more snow today. I don't know if they have off school as Connecticut has lots of snow equipment so they are not fast to cancel things.

Today is also my granddaughter Iliana's 9th birthday. She is in Cromwell. I wish I were in Cromwell. Rarely do I get to see my grandchildren. I've never celebrated a birthday with Iliana. She is a delicate looking child with the most engaging smile. She reminds me of her mother when she was young. She is a middle child in her family with all the characteristics that make up a middle child.

I was their Nana-sitter for a couple of week a several summers ago. I loved being with them. I sometimes wonder if they will have much concept of their Nana since they never see me. So today, I am not homesick for Tennessee but homesick for Connecticut.

The other day I was thinking about Connecticut. I have a very dear and special friend in Connecticut. She quite advanced in years. She is the sister of Normal Lear the producer and probably some of the inspiration for his hit television show "All in the Family." There is so much I can say about my friend Claire. Every one should know someone like Claire. I am so blessed that I have known her.

When I was working as the Director of the Newington (CT) Senior and Disabled Center, she was a member. She decided to put on a fundraiser for the facility. In fact we did two. I had a lead role in both of them. Oh, that was so much fun! And WORK!

The theme of the first one was "Connecticut Welcomes You!" A friend of hers named Libby Richmond had written a song she wanted to be the state song. It never was but Claire also would never give up promoting the song. Good friends are like that, they never give up on you or your dreams.

The lyrics were:

Oh the state of Connecticut, the state of Connecticut

Where people greet you with a smile and everyone is so in style 

Connecticut WELCOMES YOU!

I wish you could have been to those fundraisers. They were FUN! Laughter, music, and good people. The second one was like as the first -- FUN! I was the seamstress in The Gypsy Steals The Maid, an original mystery dinner theater play written by the late Kenneth Larsen.

I remember moving to Connecticut - Connecticut did welcome us. People did greet me with a smile. I was telling someone yesterday that in Connecticut if you sneeze in the grocery store, perfect strangers will say God Bless You. Here, I don't think they even say bless you to their friends. Here in the grocery store, I rarely hear an excuse me or see a smile of acknowledgement.

You don't think of Connecticut as particularly "Christian." To me the "least" Christian place I've lived had this characteristic the most. I find myself humming an odd little church handshake ditty from my childhood:

There's a welcome here, there's a welcome here, there's a Christian welcome here!

There is something about being welcomed. There is something about someone opening up a piece of their world and their life to you. This week I am seeing a very slight glimmer of life opening up to me.

Maybe it is because spring is around the corner - maybe it is because I am more open to life. I just know today with the sun shining. Even though I'd rather not be here today or tomorrow, I feel a slight bit of hope for tomorrow.

I may never feel welcome in South Dakota but I am beginning to welcome South Dakota in my life, slowly, tentatively. That is all I can do.