Core Values

Just when I thought I was beginning to get South Dakota, just a little bit, I am reminded how much I don’t get it here.  It’s been snowing for a couple for a couple of days.  It’s also snowing in Nashville.  Now to people up here, I realize it sounds ridiculous that with just the forecast of snow, they closed many of the schools last night.  I understand that Atlanta is under a state of emergency this morning because they had 6 inches of snow. 

Its fine and dandy to say that the south has no plows and therefore needs more time to get the snow cleaned up.  That’s true.  They don’t have that many plows.  However, at least in TN they were out with the brine on the road and had the salt trucks ready to go. 

Remember that heavy dump of snow in the Northeast?  They got more in the last few days in Connecticut.  I used to love those major snows in Connecticut.  I even had a job where I made decisions about closings when I lived there.  Everything would stop for a few hours, maybe a day when the snow fell in Connecticut.  The big difference there was they had enough plows and actually used them expeditiously. 

I-90 the major east - west interstate through South Dakota

I-29 the major north-south interstate through South Dakota

I’m no stranger to snow.  Someone was shocked yesterday that I used pretty and snow in the same sentence.  I’ve used that language before, they just never heard it.  Why?  Because I just don’t get it here.  I don’t get why if they aren’t going to buy and use plows to actually clean the roads when it snows, why they don’t at least close things so people can stay safe.  They do neither.

In an attempt to understand South Dakota better I decided to listen to governor of South Dakota Dennis Duagaard’s inauguration speech.  It wasn’t a bad speech.  You can hear it here.  He kept it fairly short and to the point.  He talked about South Dakotans core values.  They were self-reliance, persistence, and frugality. 

Governor Duagaard did help me understand.  He talked about how the settlers who came to South Dakota were self-reliant.  He also said the natives before them were also self-reliant.  I think he was wrong.  I’m not native nor do I think I know that much about native culture.  However, I think community is important in native culture.  He went on to talk about not being dependent.  I guess that’s part of the reason why the state feels no responsibility to clear the roads in a timely fashion or close the schools.  It is up to you to be safe.  It is up to you to be able to afford a 4-wheel drive.  If you can’t afford one, and you die on the road, that’s your problem-self-reliance.  After all it was your fault if you do. 

Duagaard talked about helping someone who has fallen but if they don’t get up right away and work themselves, you should leave they lie there.  What about the old, what about children, what about people with emotional or physical disabilities?  Using the word MUST he proclaimed that South Dakota must be self-reliant.  Thank you very much Governor Duagaard, I prefer to rely on God.  Relying on myself usually gets me in trouble.  Quoting Calvin Coolidge he talked about persistence.  Then he moved on to frugality.  

Everyone chuckled as he told a story of someone who publically embarrassed some people from California saying welcome to South Dakota a state that pays its bills.  I am sure they felt a warm friendly welcome here.

No I don’t get it.  I guess I never will.  The Bible talks about caring for one another without reservation.  In all the encounters Jesus had with people in need, He never told one of them to work harder or get a job to solve their problems.  He just gave them what they needed.  Jesus fed hungry people without a means test.  

We are called as the people of God to be in community, to be one body.  We are called to sacrifice for each other just as Christ sacrificed for us.  Scripture principles call for interconnectedness and mutual dependence.  It calls for generosity, not frugality and withholding from those in need.  1 Corinthians 12 cautions us not to tell the weaker part of the body that we have no need for it.  In fact, we give it special treatment.

It is still snowing.  People will end up in ditches, some will die, others will slip and fall on the ice breaking bones.  I guess that they just weren't self-reliant enough.  I guess it’s better to save a penny then save a life. 

I know this blog will not endear me any further to some people.  I am sorry about that.  Really I am.  I would prefer you liked me.  But it’s just the way I see it.  My core values and South Dakota’s core values as declared by the Governor just don’t match.  My core values are caring about people without reservation and generosity.  What about you? What are your core values?  Snowy days are a good time to think about such things.

DISCLAIMER: Before I get in too much trouble with my blog, these views are MY OWN and do not reflect that of any other member of my family.

That Four Letter Word S--W

I had a good day yesterday.  That's odd for South Dakota.  Although perhaps it's not as odd as I make it out to be on this blog.  The problem never has been really South Dakota, the problem was always me.  South Dakota does make me crazy.  South Dakota does make me sad.  South Dakota has drug me to the pits of depression. However, it's really not because South Dakota is some how inherently evil.  It just is like oil and vinegar, or any other two elements that can never fully integrate, I am not a good in South Dakota.

It's fine to say that South Dakota can't change for me, to say that it is me who has to change to accommodates it's ways, it's weather, it's idiosyncrasies, it's people.  But I can't.  I've tried. I can however, learn to navigate this hostile terrain safely.

There was a bit of rain yesterday that was a harbinger of the snow to come.  I've been checking weather.com, accuweather.com, weatherbug and the national weather service.  All with the anticipation of the dreaded four letter word, snow.

When I was a kid, I think I loved snow.  I remember building snow forts.  While I pine away with romanticized visions of life in Brooklyn, Brooklyn has changed perhaps even more than I have.  There are but scan few Norwegians left in my old neighborhood.  8th Avenue is a China Town.  The 17 of May parade, still held in Brooklyn, now marches in a different direction on a different Avenue. Salem Gospel Tabernacle is no longer Salem, it is Sunset Park Community church.  There are no string bands or Smörgåsbord or Juletree Fests.  But it still snows in Brooklyn.  Snow seems to be a constant in my life.

I had a conversation about snow today with my husband.  It really wasn't about snow.  It was about me and snow.  I've been doing all this weather checking because I have to head south again for class on Saturday.  I was contemplating do I leave tomorrow or Thursday.  Two days of driving in a little 2003 Chevy Cavalier that like me, is feeling her age.  I've driven in extreme snow many times and survived.  But I'd rather not do it again.

Cows, South Dakota and Snow - all synonymous

Oh I signed on for this so I supposed I shouldn't complain.  But here is where this all comes together.  Snow can be predicted but is always unpredictable.  A slight change can dump more snow or less snow.  Today's snow will not be like tomorrow's snow.  The snow in Brooklyn is a different experience than the snow in Missouri.  The trace snow in Tennessee does not compare to the mountains of snow in Connecticut. And of course nothing is like the powdery whiteout blizzards of South Dakota.

I want predictable.  Oh not that I'm not fun loving and like adventure and new experiences, I do... but when they are done, I want predictable.  I want to know that if I plan to go to Tennessee on this day, that's the day I'll go.  I want to know that if I plan to get up in the morning and do this or that, that by the time the day is over I've done this or that.  I want only occasional changes in my life-not constant the every day something changes patterns of my life here.

Thats the problem here in South Dakota -- besides the cows and the rudeness and all the other things I complain about, the real problem is me.  I want some stability.  I want to know where home is.  I want to not have my life reordered and changed.  Like the rapid changing weather patterns here in this Storehouse of Snow, I find the changes paralyzing and depressing.  If the weather has to change, can it not change so fast? Can I have a warning that it's changing?

My husband's job makes extreme demands on him.  He's become a soldier - no I don't mean he's joined the military, I mean he is a soldier.  He's always ready for the changes and demands. He sets aside his emotions and just does it. He never checks the weather reports.  He never considers whether the weather might change.  He just packs up and goes.  I can't do that - that's why he's adjusted to South Dakota and all the places we've lived so much faster than I have.

Snow is coming - change is coming - and it keeps coming - the cold dark depression of winter is setting in to South Dakota.  I'm not ready for it.  I don't think I will ever be ready for it.  But it will come nonetheless.  I will drive tomorrow, or the next day and go south.  I will have Thanksgiving at "home" - if it is home? in Tennessee.  Then I'll return to the snow and leave again in a few days.  Such is life right now -- constant change impinging on a life that wants stability.

Until then, I guess I need to lace up my boots, button my coat, tie my scarf and navigate through another South Dakota winter.

Cowgirl

After all my waiting yesterday, we went. We left for Rapid City. Normally I would jump at the chance to go Rapid City. I like it. It has people, stores, and a completely different feel from much of the rest of the state.  When I come to Rapid City I realize that the west is alive and well.

As I look at large men with large Stetsons and cowboy boots, I think of my own childhood. I grew up in the days of Wagon Train, Gunsmoke, The Lone Ranger, Wyatt Earp, Roy Rodgers, Bonanza, Rawhide and Annie Oakley. I dreamed of being a cowgirl like Annie Oakley. 

I had a full red skirt with pompom fringe my mother had made for me. With my matching red vest, red cowgirl hat and my pistol in its holster, I would go in my backyard to practice twirling my pistol. I could twirl the cap gun, but never would my jump rope twirl. All the jump rope would do is wrap around my legs.

What did a Brooklyn NY cowgirl do for a horse? She had a stick horse of course! Very appropriate for riding in a backyard.

I road a real horse once when I was in the third grade. Believe it or not, there are stables in NYC.  From Brooklyn, I ventured with my best friend Barbara (read more about her here) to rural Staten Island. Compared to Brooklyn, Staten Island was like going to the country.

I have never been coordinated. I had difficulty getting on the horse. I was terrified. All my aspirations to be a bareback rider were gone. I had brown corduroy pants with a paisley print on that day. Maybe if I had my red skirt and cowgirl hat on, I would have been brave.

The horse they gave me to ride was new to their stable. I think that meant it wasn’t fully broke in. They hadn’t named it yet. I suggested Rawhide after the TV show and they agreed. I wonder if they told that to all the little girls. I think they took pleasure in my greenhorned-ness. Crusty wranglers and scared little girls often don't mix.

I clutched the reins as we walked through the woods. I don’t think I did anything wrong, but then again, I’d never been on a horse before. Without warning, the horse left the trail. At what seemed like a gallop the horse tore through the woods; of course, I don’t know a gallop from a trot.

My pants, I think a favorite, ripped as branches cut into my knees. My face was badly scraped. A wrangler eventually subdued the horse. As a child, I was sure I was to blame. The wrangler agreed. I was defeated, hurt, embarrassed and vowed never to go on a horse again. I never have.

I still have a fantasy about riding a horse. I think I would still like to be a cowgirl. I think I would like some time alone with just the horse, God’s creation, and me.

I am alone. I am so alone in South Dakota. So how can more time alone be good for me? I think I’ve been missing the point. The alone time I need is not really to be alone. It is time with God; a time to let Him speak and for my ears to be expectantly open.

Today someone told me to find time alone with God. I hear and want to obey but my mind wants to wander. Just like the horse that decided to go off the path, risking my life; my mind likes to go far off the path. 

The wrangler that day rescued me. While he was not kind, he still rescued me. He grabbed the reins and led the horse back to safety. Today I am trusting the Holy Spirit to take hold of the reins and lead me to safety.  Maybe this is why the hymn Trust and Obey has been floating around in my head for days.