South Dakota - The Tornado's Vortex

In a strange moment of conversation yesterday, I told someone that I was beginning to wonder what the big deal was about South Dakota. I’ve made a very big deal about having to be here. I almost said live here, but not sure I want to “confess” that yet.

The sun is shining today. Yesterday was warm today isn’t warm yet. I heard on the news mention of getting shorts and sandals out. Bear in mind that I have seen people in shorts in 40 degree weather here, so talk of shorts may be premature.  I even hear a few birds today.

I know the answer to what is the “big deal” about South Dakota. Certainly, the weather is a factor but every place has weather to complain about, it’s all relative. When it is beastly hot and humid in Tennessee I complained. I probably wouldn’t complain as much now as I used to, but hot and humid is pretty bad too.

A woman in class yesterday who had read my blog said to me, Man, you really don’t like South Dakota! I replied:  my blog is toned down. It used to be worse. She had moved from somewhere else. I think she came from Minneapolis.  Okay, Minneapolis is a city and Brookings SD is not.  I think she failed to consider the culture. Upper Midwest culture includes Minneapolis. Just listen to Garrison Keillor if you are in doubt.

I tried to explain my situation to her. I mentioned family. She seemed quite happy not to have family close. I couldn’t mention to her the real reasons. The feelings, experiences and emotions, so personal, that are wrapped up in my difficulty with the move to SD. It isn’t the weather, it isn’t just family, it is me.

It is the move to SD, not the living here that is my problem. Moving here is wrapped up with emotions and things I cannot share. I look like just a crabby person who doesn’t want to live in South Dakota.

What people can’t realize is that this move snuffed out so much of my life, my inner core. Like the tornadoes that plague the plains, I feel I have been in its vortex threatening to suck me into a hole so deep I would never recover.

I realized yesterday that I had some sort of emotional connection to the seminary. A professor tried to tell me several months ago that I was part of the seminary family. I didn’t believe him. I thought he was just being nice. He is a very nice man.

Yesterday, while students still look at me like who is she and why is she here? Some still don’t talk to me. It can be lonely even in class. Nonetheless, I thought I am going to miss being here. It has been a bit of an oasis of sanity for me.

South Dakota is getting to me. It is alluring me in ways I was unwilling to accept. I accept it as part of my journey through life. It will teach me. Whenever I leave here, I will hold parts of it as something dear in my life. 

We may yet have a spring blizzard. It often happens here in the Dakotas. I think I can survive. Part of my inner core is coming back alive again.